"Hide in that corner! No, not that one, this one! Here, let me show you!"

Massive, massive points to the Society for putting up quite a scare-fest down at the block.

We were first forced to watch 'Sisters', then 'Shutter'. Sisters was alright.

*WOOO-OOOH-OOOOHHOOOOOOHHHHOOOOHHH~~*

(No, stop pulling that lock of hair from the ceiling! No, you're gonna get us all - WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THAT?!)

The last time I laughed that hard was during Ju-On. (AWWWWW itty-bitty boy's adorabl- ARGH GHOST GHOST GHOST)

Shutter was terrifying shit. It remains one of the reasons why I don't like using mirrors or cameras. That's my excuse for being camera-shy, because I'm trying to curb narcissism.

Cough.

Did I mention that both shows were the Thai versions? Good f*cking lord.

Midnight soon struck - And, ah, it was time for a nice relaxing walk through the FMS block, the same one built on an ex-cemetery. On hindsight, which part of Singapore -didn't- have something dead buried in it?

Groups were formed, and the OGLs did not allow us to carry ectoplasmic weaponary.

With every group member forced to complete at least a single station all alone, our 'challenge' was to look for clues in a murder case. It doesn't help that the 'murdered' has a fantastic sense of humour. So here you have blatent irony as she plays ping-pong with our poor hearts, while we're trying to -help- her.

So we proceeded to our first station.

AHHHHHHHH!

No, not yet.

We had two guys and four girls. 3-5 with a male and female OGL.

First station was an individual one. Everyone drew lots - numbered 'one' to 'six'. The one who got number 'seven' shat bricks. As probability would have it, a girl got numba one. A quick exchange later, the other guy went into the long corrider room-thing. Blindfolded.

He had to listen for guiding sounds, like chains, moans, and other supernatural noises. Instructions were to get to the other end by -feeling- your way through. Guy took chair and bulldozed his way through. Long story short, ghost gave up and relinquished the first clues. Looks like chairs are fatal to ghosts.

OGL warned of scare ambushes. We prepared for it.

Badly.

Lights flickered at the FMS lobby, and the first scare (IT WAS BEHIND THE PILLAR WASN'T IT?) sent the girls screaming into the dark abyss of the night. That sparked off a chain effect - The guys got quite a shock too (read: screamed like little girls).

I recovered from the shock quickly, and was in the midst of laughing it off when another one scared me shitless a few seconds later.

They were going for combos.


There were three elevators one could take to the ninth floor, where the second station would be located. The seniors somehow managed to short out the other two, forcing us to take the remaining one. No walkin' up the stairs - Rules are rules.

Okay, sure. Let's go up, then. The faster we hurry, the faster we can get this over and done with.

It was a different story when the elevator finally arrived though.

"I'm not going in there."

"You have to, it's the only way up."

"Bleh."

Reason: There was a hanging, bloodied head smack right in the middle of the damn contraption.

The guys took the lead and entered. My itchy fingers touched the... football? The paper mache was slimy and wet. Girls screamed in.

Only one button was lit. The rest of the buttons were covered with obituaries. Actually, the entire lift was. That's -alot- of dead people. The menacing whirring of the lift as it proceeded up didn't make things any better, as the head threatened to hit anyone who was foolish enough to stand too close to it.

Ol' head in the elevator trick never fails to scare anyone.

Everyone looked down and tried to compose their nerves for the rest of the night.

The night was still so very young.

"FMS NUMBA ONE, DON'T BELIEVE? YOU KUKU."



Hurrah, new school.

Hurrah, new beginning.

Hurrah, homework!

Bugger.

I missed the Freshmen Orientation Camp - No more vacancies, they say. :(

At least I made it for the Film and Media Studies (FMS) camp. ;)

Hurrah, new people!

The last few days have been a blur - I'm half dead now from the lack of sleep, as with all camps.

Ice-breakers weren't half bad - Met cool, cool people. Thrown into SUPERHEROES. Sub-group SUPERMAN.

We're totally the strongest of them all. X-ray vision, super-human strength, and tight crimson underwear. Uh-huh.

Props to the Mass Dance too. Pretty well choreographed. Food isn't half bad, it was actually decent!

(And at this point of time, I seem to be giving a review. Monologues are not fun.)

Amazing race had Superman bonding pretty well - We laughed, we cheered, we broke a nail.

Oh. My. Gawd. I think I need a manicure - The sun, I swear, is ruining my gorgeous hair!

No, not that way.

Hmph.

I also like the night-walk! But I'll talk more about it next time round.

Off to bed.

Yay!

"Save point."

Applications have fallen through, and guess what?

I'm officially a Ngee Ann Polytechnic Mass Communication student, rumoured to be the best media-related course for Singapore tertiary education.

It's hard to believe it when one has gone through hell and high water to obtain the dreaded Singpass in order to be eligible for the Joint Application Exercise for polytechnics.

Maybe it was over-kill when I sent in applications for both JAE -and- JPSAE. I admit, DAE too. I blame it on Singaporean culture, and insecurities on my O'level score. I mean, I'm a JC dropout after all. Maybe I'm older, wiser, or even tougher - But I was a quitter.

And I promise myself right here and now, this will be first and last time that I ever do.

Scout's honour.

I'm glad that I've gotten another chance.

Relieved, to say the least, really. I'm finally pursuing my dreams as a media-related student.

Okay, maybe 'relieved' is an understatement. It is only when you realise that education is not compulsory anymore that you begin to cherish it - The same as everything else really.

We don't cherish anything until we've lost it.

So what now? I've heard that polytechnic education much more open than that of a JC education - But of course, I'm not following by ear. Experience ought to be first-hand.

Meh.

Mum was pretty much supportive - She treats this as a 'last chance'. Everything's a 'last chance' to her though.

Dad still doesn't know.

One step at a time, I suppose - Orientation's in a week, and I can't wait for it already.

Guess I'm in for one hell of a ride.

"Finally, something I can truly call myself! Ahahahahaha *snort*."

I've just taken a Personality Disorder test, courtesy from a very lovable source. It's hilarious, I tell you.

The scary thing is that it's highly accurate, at least in my opinion it is.

A series of questions and answers later, and you'll get your disorder with corresponding rating (it ranks from 'Low' to 'Very High' I believe).

I'll insert a short excerpt at the end of each P.D. for your reading convenience. That, and I don't like to steal bandwidth.


Common Personality Disorders

Paranoid: High

Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships.

They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.

Symptoms include:-

• Unwillingness to forgive perceived insults
• Excessive sensitivity to setbacks
• Distrustfulness and excessive self-reliance
• Projection of blame onto others
• Consumed by anticipation of betrayal
• Combative and tenacious adherence to personal rights
• Relentlessly suspicious

.

Schizoid: Moderate

People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. Unlike avoidants, schizoids genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact.

Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived by others as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Symptoms suggest:-

• Weak interpersonal skills
• Difficulty expressing anger, even when provoked
• "Loner" mentality; avoidance of social situations
• Appear to others as remote, aloof, and unengaged
• Low sexual desire
• Unresponsive to praise or criticism

.

Schizotypal: High

Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others.

They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Symptoms include:-

• Superstitious or preoccupied with paranormal phenomena
• Difficult to follow speech patterns
• Feelings of anxiety in social situations
• Suspiciousness and paranoia
• Odd beliefs or magical thinking
• Appears shy, aloof, or withdrawn to others

.

Antisocial: High

A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of.

Antisocials tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often aggressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

Symptoms include:-

• Disregard for the feelings of others
• Impulsive and irresponsible decision-making
• Lack of remorse for harm done to others
• Lying, stealing, other criminal behaviors
• Disregard for the safety of self and others

.

Borderline: Low

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing injury to their own body. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon.

Borderlines think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Symptoms include:-

• Self-injury or attempted suicide
• Strong feelings of anger, anxiety, or depression that last for several hours
• Impulsive behavior
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Feelings of low self-worth
• Unstable relationships with friends, family, and boyfriends/girlfriends

.

Histrionic: Moderate

People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention.

Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Symptoms include:-

• Needs to be the center of attention
• Dresses or acts provocatively
• Rapidly-shifting and shallow emotions
• Exaggerates friendships
• Overly-dramatic, occassionally theatrical speech
• easily influenced; highly suggestible

.

Narcissistic: Very High

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend.

Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Symptoms comprises of many elements, some being:-

• Requires excessive praise and admiration
• Takes advantage of others
• Grandiose sense of self-importance
• Lack of empathy
• Lying, to self and others
• Obsessed with fantasies of fame, power, or beauty

.

Avoidant: Moderate

Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. Avoidants are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them.

Often, avoidants will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidants yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Symptoms suggest:-

• Social inhibition; retreating from others in anticipation of rejection
• Preoccupation with being rejected or criticized in social situations
• Fear of embarrassment results in avoidance of new activities
• Poor self-image; feelings of social ineptitude
• Desire for improved social relations
• Appear to others as self-involved and unfriendly
• Creation of elaborate fantasy lives

.

Dependent: Low

Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship.

Dependents often remain in abusive relationships. Over-sensitivity to disapproval is common. Dependents often feel helpless and depressed.

Symptoms include:-

• Difficulty making decisions
• Feelings of helplessness when alone
• Suicidal thoughts upon rejection
• Submissiveness
• Deeply hurt by mild criticism or disapproval
• Unable to meet ordinary demands of life

.

Obsessive-Compulsive: High

While Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder (OCDP) sounds similar in name to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder, the two are markedly different disorders.

People with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards.

They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

Symptoms suggests:-

• Need for perfection and excessive discipline
• Preoccupation with orderliness
• Inflexibility
• Lack of generosity
• Hyper-focus on details and rules
• Excessive devotion to work

Damn, I need help.
P.S. To take your very own test, click here.

"Thanks, guys. I appreciate it."

Seventeen birthdays later and I reach physical maturity. Somehow, it doesn't seem as exciting as one would think it to be.

But yes, I'm finally of the age to...

... Buy cigarettes.
... And alcohol.
... Drink legally.
... Watch M18 movies in cinemas.
... Go clubbing legally. *sniggers*
... Apply for a driving license.
... Be charged as an adult in the court of law.

And I think that's about it.

Woop-tee-doo.

I confess, I have a bad memory for events. That, and birthdays. Call it selective memory, but I don't exactly remember unfortunate events that well (notthatimsayingthatbirthdaysareunfortunateeventsbuthaveyouseenyourbirth? thatssomelifescarringmomentthere).

But I digress.

Dad wasn't a fan of birthdays himself. He always told me that it wasn't exactly a "great" thing that you were born- It was the buddhist belief in him speaking; Nature's way of telling you "hey look! you've been good enough in your previous life, so you're now a mortal! Try harder next time though, because you're nowhere near immortality! :D"

I think that was an excuse for him to disregard birthdays. Ironically, I found myself doing the same thing year after year.

(I hereby apologise to anyone whose birthday I've forgotten over the years- I'm making an effort to remember now.)

Still, birthdays have always been a special occasion for me. You'd think that it's the only day you feel special, huh? Or maybe that's my perception. Nevertheless, adaptation and upbringing have probably made me the way I am today.

Memorable moments of my life have been far and few.

Age four saw my weaning off the pacifier and milk-bottle-drinking. It was a tough time, really. Dad and Mum was all "you're a big boy now, son, and big boys don't use pacifiers". There were the dreadful pacifier withdrawals. I would ask them about the urges, and they'd tell me that "it'll pass". Funny how i believed them then, because I still have these urges every now and then.

The only thing keeping me away from them is the fear of addiction to the strange plastic device- What can I say? I'm a sucker for these things, pun intended.

I remember age five too,when I was woken up by Mum in the middle of the night. Dad apparently bought me my very own Mercedes Benz 1:8 model car. That, and -tons- of soft toys. Bears, crocodiles, fruits (?), and even Donatello the ninja turtle (LOOKIE ITS ANOTHER DON LOL -.-). I still have some of those to this very day. His words that day still ring.

Fast forward.

The eighteenth would be slightly different from the rest, as it would seem - I would start the day off with a bout of mahjong with Mich and the rest of the guys.

We were to start at 9, and I arrived early...

... At 10.

The guys were great- Their hands too. You could see Neng Hao winning almost every game, his hand impeccably strong every single game. 'Tais' naturally came to him. There were too many 'peng peng hus' for any comfort.

My chips kept dwindling... But no matter. I was given a discount on my supposed 'loss' - A late birthday gift. Nice.

It was closing 6 when I got a phone call; I was supposed to be at Ang Mo Kio in fifteen minutes.

What?!

So I rushed from Kallang to Toa Payoh, hoping that I would have the luck of reaching the latter in ten minutes.

I didn't.

The bus had to spit and splutter in the midst of the bustling traffic, flustering every passenger onboard. That would make the second of a bout of break-downs I were to face in the near future.

Just my luck, really. So I got down near Toa Payoh, and boarded the next taxi I could find. And then it had to rain. :)

Fish & Co. at AMK Hub finally reached my sight half an hour later as I bounded up the busy escalator. A middle-aged woman gave out a snarl while unpredictable legs brought me up and past her in an alarming speed, threatening to throw her off balance. She didn't fall though.

Boo.

Long story short, I reached, we ate, and I got PRESENTS (yay!).

Amongst other things, I guess I got my present - Jerico, Jasmine, Darren and Dom makin' fun of each other, Jasper and Lynnette jokin' around, Pam and Xuan gossiping (as always)... Yeah, nothing beats a good gathering with these guys. That would be the best present of all.

They showed no mercy though - I had to stand on a chair while the staff sang me a birthday song. I got a balloon too! And the cake was d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s. It was just like my MacDonald's party back when I was 5 (except we had fish and chips instead of burgers, and... never mind).

And for the record - My weirdest birthday gift to date is no longer a toothpick (this is another story for another day); It is now a pair of polka-dot boxers. No prize for guessing who chipped in.

To top everything off, I got whipped-creamed. Yum. On the bright side, at least it was full-cream. Gawd knows I scoff in the presence of the lactose-intolerant.

.
.
.

Y'know, birthdays always remind me of how meaningful and interesting that life could turn out to be, and that one shouldn't waste any time at all in pursuing his greatest dreams.

I thus promised myself to dedicate myself to the betterment of oneself for the upcoming year, via the instilling of discipline and perseverance amongst other things.

After all, life is lived but once, and birthdays mere milestones to record our stories. And I quote, "life is made bearable by the stories we save and tell".

So I went home and got wasted.

THE END.

"Hello again."

I'm back.

The past few months have been eventful, to say the least. I actually accomplished more than I had expected, workin' my ass off so hard.

For one thing, I just finished my stint with DBS Vickers Online. I've never been so afraid of economics. So there I was, in the big cruel corporate world, and guess what?

Life has never been better.

Sure, 9-5 hours were a tad monotonous after a while, but good lawd, the stuff you learn is GOLD. The seniors and bosses are amazing - It's nice being the little kid for a change with everyone pampering you, kinda.

It must have been fate that threw me in, really. No one really believed that I was really seventeen, which is... comforting. The next youngest would be Fabius, at 20. Do the maths. Apparently, the requisite for the post of an assistant administrator would be either a diploma or an A' level certificate, of which I have neither. It must have been dumb luck.

The guys had almost zero politics, which is such a breather. That, or I mght have been totally oblivious to it. Being a temp. contract employee does have its fair share of benefits. I was assigned to pick up the ropes from some of the other staff, who were dealing with trading in the stock-market.

To say that I was taught plenty would be an understatement - there were constant tests to make sure I knew my work. I'd never loved learning so much. Every piece of information that I could get my hands on was absorbed. And my superiors obliged with the parting of their knowledge. Jennifer, if you're reading this, thank you.

I have found my calling to learn again.

And I have had much to learn. Some of these would come from some of my kids. Maybe it's dumb luck once again, but I have had the rare opportunity to hold classes with some of these bolsterous ones.

Being a tutor to a class and not on a one-to-one basis does take its toll. I finally realised how hard a teacher's job can be - I respect and give condolences to each and every teacher that has ever taught me. The unruliness, the lack of respect, the rhetorical questions, the mischief, oh... The horror!

It's Karma I tell you, because I see myself in some of them.

You'd be surprised how intelligent the little tykes would be these days. Being an egotistical bitch myself, I admit that I rarely think anyone's intelligence superior to mine (don't look at me that way, some of you are equally guilty). Yet, I've already found two kids of which are the smartest little brats you'd ever meet. I believe they're much smarter than me; Twice as anal though. They've got a good start - One's ten while the other's eleven.

The workload could kill, but I'm actually enjoying myself. Alot. Out of the house by 8am in the morning, back right before the stroke of midnight, sometimes even later if there is an event that stretches (random odd jobs at an event management company pay for my whimsical buys). Never mind that, OT pay's enough to cover my fatigue.

I'm so cheap.

What can one do while waiting for polytechnic admission but work? I've already slacked my ass away durin' the hols - Two weeks was more than enough. The third week got me more restless; The fourth made me tear my hair out from boredom. So what does one do? Apply for 20 jobs, throw CVs around, attend about half of the interviews and hope they pick you.

Perturbing, isn't it? Work in a nutshell, heh.

Which reminds me, I ought to choose a course for polytechnic soon. Great.

I'll get to it sooner or later.

Probably later.

I'm out.