"Extra, extra! Read all about it! Humans find more holes to poke stuff in!"

Can acupuncture be carried out on plants? Hsiao Kui-wen, who specializes in research related to Chinese medicine and traditional therapeutic techniques, has spent 15 years in determining the answer to this question. Now, he has finally discovered the acupuncture pressure points for plants. This enables him to carry out acupuncture on peach trees or apple trees, enabling the plants to ripen faster and enable harvest about a half a month earlier than normal. This also helps to prevent the threat of harm to the fruit from various pests. Hsiao has received a patent on his research from the Ministry of Economic Affairs' Intellectual Property Office. He has already received expressions of interest in the technology from people in the agriculture industry and is presently in talks on transferring the technology.

Hsiao presently operates a center that specializes in addressing spinal problems in people. The clinic is located in Yonghe City of Taipei County. One time by chance he noticed that the petals of a wild ginger flower changed color after different pigments were sprinkled over the flower. This got him to thinking that plants should have pressure points just like people do, and if this is the case, there is no reason that acupuncture could not be carried out. With this idea in mind, he started delving into research in this area.

Seventeen years ago, Hsiao began to engage in cooperative research with fruit orchard farmers at Wuling Farm, and farmers in Shihkang of Taichung and Lalashan of Taoyuan County. He took a camera with him and also carried a notebook in which he wrote down all sorts of details. He spent eight years in finding acupuncture pressure points in plants. He then spent another seven years in carrying out experiments with acupuncture on fruit trees. He has continued with his efforts for 15 years now, and finally his research has "blossomed." The peach trees he has carried out acupuncture on now produce wonderful examples of the fruit. When President Chen Shui-bian went on a state visit to Latin America, he even took boxes of the peaches with him as gifts for his hosts.

As for the needles that he uses for acupuncture on plants, Hsiao Kui-wen uses the steel wire from discarded bicycles. The wire is about three or four times thicker than that of needles used on humans. Hsiao said that he needs to prick a fruit tree in 20 to 30 places in the acupuncture treatment. Some of the points are on the main trunk of the tree, while others are on the branches. He declined to go into detail, as this is precisely the essence of his research, which has now been patented.

Once the acupuncture treatment is completed, he then sprays on a natural growth compound that is extracted from plants. Hsiao said most fruit farmers use agricultural fertilizers or hormones to spark the growth process of the fruit and provide for an abundant harvest. He said that this not only damages the environment, but also has an impact on the health of people.

Hsiao is 66 years old. He said that if he would have been able to successfully develop these techniques 10 years ago, he would have opened up a farm himself. Now, however, he feels he is too old to undertake the task, and therefore desires to transfer the technology. Hsiao said he is determined to keep this technology in Taiwan and not to have the fruits of his research be used to create a competitive edge for agricultural products in China. Hsiao stressed that if fruit trees are able to flower, bud, produce fruit and be harvested earlier than normal, the fruit can get to market ahead of that from other farms. As a result, the price of this fruit will be three to four times higher than fruit grown in traditional ways. He said the new techniques will help to increase the farmers of farmers and enable Taiwanese agriculture to have a competitive edge.

"OINK OINK!... It's sad to know that that's all I'm thinkin' of right now. "

"Anyone realise that the cut-off points of the more popular JCs stop at 13, while the less popular ones start at 17? Where will a fifteen pointer (with bonus, poo) like me go? It's a flaw in the system, damnit."

Okay.

Enough of the whiny-bitchiness.

This is a memo intended for Don.

Yes, I'm talking to you me you, asshole.

This post is concerning your choice of junior college after your O' levels.

Note that this is for your eyes in... A year's time. You better not be regretting my decision, because that would make you look like an idiot, not to mention me too.

So then, let's begin.

...

Dear Self,

I hate you so much short of jumping off a building to stop the hate. Because I like the hate. And torturing your very demented existance. Trust me when I say that you are like a meat shield of loathing. Well, a skin-and-bones shield, anyway. Get fat already.

Asshole.

Now that we're over and done with the obscenities, let's get down to business. Fifteen points, with bonus. Where to, where to?

Nanyang would be the first choice, but it is highly unlikely you'll end up in its Science course. You'll have to go to the Arts course, AND most probably contribute to NY's Puglilistic Society. Oh wait, you don't really want to continue with that CCA, do you?

Closer to home too, huh? But you know you won't be able concentrate on studies there?

So why the hell did you...?

Oh, for better chance in appealin'?

Fat hope.

*Nanyang JC. Arts course. First Choice.*

.
.
.

Catholic JC. Oh please. How did that even...

The location's bad for you.
The culture's unsuitable for you.
The CCAs pose no interest to you.

Then why are you...?

Because?

What the hell does a "because" explain?

Never mind.

You fail at life.

*Catholic JC. Arts Course. Second choice.*

.
.
.

Which comes to the last choice.

Wait.

What do you mean "last"? There's at least five more junior colleges!

Not interested?

Not interested?!...

You know what, never mind.

*Yishun JC. Science course. Third/Last choice.*

-

You know you'll get into YJC. You know it.

So then, howja figure out your courses?

Yeah, so you did better at the art/humanities subjects rather than science. Much. much better.
That doesn't mean you should pursue humanities mainly. Oh wait, yes it does.

You tell me now that you're interested in... what again?

What happened to aspirations in being in the medical field? I mean, you don't HAVE to be a doctor. You can be a paramedic. A male nurse. Heck, even a pharmacist. I'm sure Unity would love to have you onboard after your graduation from college learning how to differentiate a lilac white pill from a peachy one.

"Bah. They all look the same to me. Just pop, uhhh... all of them tonight before you go to bed," would be your last sentence as a professional.

No longer interested, huh? What, has that ego of yours retracted back into that pathetic excuse for a scrotum?

Whatever, sir. I mean, ma'am.

Arts now? What are you going to do when you grow up?

Journalism? Yeah, you look like good paparazzi.

Architecture? Sounds good. If you're lucky to be able to venture into that field.

Business? BUSINESS?! AhahAhaHAHahAHhaAhaHAhaha!... I think I just wet myself.

Yeah sure, sputnik. Go do whatever your heart tells you to. Even Mommy said so.

Just don't come back and scream at her for "not providing you with a proper ambition" or what-not.

For now, focus on the A's.

Yours Cynically,
Don

P.S. I really wish you all the best though. I want to see you make something out of your---- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Damn, I was almost able to pull that with a straight face. You still suck.

"Man, I didn't do as badly as I thought I would. But still, I feel crushed. And stupid."

I didn't think I'll do that well.

A n extremely good reason would be that I've already done my best.
M ight not really have that well, but it's my best, right?

A nother thing, academics don't really reflect much on your intelligence...
N o?

E xactly my point. The results are already out, anyway.
M anly thing to do would be to pick yourself up.
O 's are nuthin', too. There will be A Levels, and Uni exams...
K idding myself wouldn't be the best solution, either.
I ndeed, I should really learn from such an experience and get on with life. Or...
D ie.

Self-monologue is never healthy.

- - -

-Under influence of medicine-

"Anderson did pretty well. We did better than the last batch, and retained our Band 1 standard." Mrs Poh spoke. Everyone cheered.

Glugg...

"Two of our students came out as top scholars, too." More cheered.

When are we getting the results back?

.
.
.

"Wei, Weiwen, why you so nervous?"

"I'm not.. I'm just sick..."

"Orhh.. No need nervous one, la! What's over is over!"

"Ya, but I really wanna sleep now... I don't feel too good..."

"Take results liao, don't be so sad la! Haven't take, then sad already!"

"..."

When did people get so thick-headed?

- - -

One by one, everyone went to get their results. Alot of people were squealing about their good grades. Then it was Don's turn.

He looked at Mrs Yeo, his gaze at her begging confirmation.

"Don't worry, Weiwen. You can go JC."

Man, that must mean I have horrid grades.

As Don peered as his grades...

"omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg... Okay, don't panic... breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, again. Phew... Hurrrr, fooooo, hurrrrr, foooooo, hurr, fooo, hur, foo, hur- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Damn, still not working."

What if I can't get into a Junior college?

What if I wind up a bum?

What if...

Don hates surprises.

Sure, one can still go to a Polytechnic. But still, what can Don do?

... He no longer had an aspiration.

"Don't worry, lah. You're an Andersonian. Sure won't do that bad, lah."

"Yeah, the standard already there le, mah."

But, but.

"Why, are you doubting yourself now?"

It's not that I'm filled with...

"You're doubtful of your capabilities now, aren't you?"

No... Yes. After all, I actually did slave myself off for the preliminaries. I still got a pitiful twenty-plus grade.

"This is the O's. You'll do better."

Ya think?

"I know."

I really don't wanna go back to Millennia.

"You won't. You'll get into a JC. It'll be another new beginning from there."

I hope so...

"Stop hoping and do it. Where's the confident Weiwen I've always known?"

Gone, just like my balls.

"Stop bullshitting, and get some rest."

Will try.

Don laid motionlessly onto the bed, attempting to shut out all thoughts. Slowly, he drifted into a fatigued-induced sleep.

In the next room, the alarm clock beeped as its hour hand approached six...

"Lesson learnt: Procrastinated blogging results in none-so-accurate blogposts. Damn, my memory must be going through another existential crisis again. Oh, and I'm not in Youth.sg Top 11 for Round 3. Nehmind, I'll pia for Round 4. Alvin, I know you're reading this! Rawr!"

And the author writes:-

Everything is finally done.

El finito.

All is updated.

Doing twelve blogposts in a row does tire you out alot. What's the opposite of a writer's block? Because I'm sure as hell having that right now.

GO READ THE PREVIOUS BLOGPOSTS IN JANUARY 2007. NAO!

So then, about the 'three times a week' blogging thing I have going on here. I'll try to keep to my promise, but it would most probably be a 'two times a week' thing unless there's more interesting stuff. Updates will be on Tuesdays and Fridays, for sure.

So, here's the gist of it. I'll write about Don, and Don'll write about me. Then we'll prolly take turns writing the extra blogpost every alternating week. Yeah, it's insane.

What, don't understand the schizo? Wait till you meet Bi-polar Don.

Alrighty-then, I've added a few new items for year 2007:-

- A title to every post

That'll make it easier for you guys (and gals, pardon me, mdm) to look for the post you would like to read.

. . .

- A bear at the start of every post

He's like the material manisfestation of my inner thoughts, like a short introduction to the whole blogpost. Be nice to him. And for the record, the bear DOES NOT MOVE. It just sits there! Sheesh, you people are crazy.

. . .

- Blog Template changed

The blog template is still keeping its monochromatic charms. I happen to like black and white, thank you.

That, or the fact that Don doesn't know what colours match what.

Oh shut up, me.

. . .

- Blog Theme changed

Humour's the way to go. Let's get whimsical. And yes, there are sexual annotations to the theme. But stop thinking dirty, you perv!

Thanks to Jiaru for suggesting the current theme I'm going with. She deserves a cookie, and more pageviews.

P.S. From now on, Do it with Don shall have the acronym 'DiwD'. Pronounced: Dee-yewd.

. . .

- Blog address changed.

Wow, very perceptive there, Captain Obvious.

. . .

- More stuff in side-bar.

. Wishlist is updated. Buy me stfu stuf!

.. Teevee has tons of pictures of my favourite proggys. Watch them. They're good.

... A new feature called 'Read this' has been added. They are the classics of this very establishment.

.... Links has finally been added after two years of hesitation. It links to great reads. Check them out.

..... 'Proud to be' shows the affiliation DiwD has with. I just hope that I won't be a sellout, though.

VOTE DON FOR PRESIDENT SINGAPORE BLOGGER RANKING!
. . .

There will be consideration on pictures in Don's blog entries. As for now, Don would like to have the entries picture-free.
Cuts down on bandwidth (am I thinking for Blogger? Nowayz!) and helps load the page faster.

Don will sell out when he's ready to.

So, after all that's done, get ready to tune in to DiwD, where laughter is the best medicine.

Side-effects include giggling, hyperventilation, ROFL-ing, and prolly death.