Sunday, April 30, 2006
A letter to my PimplesDear pimples,
Shakespeare would have never written classics such as Pimple hast Pleasure:-
"Why hast thou frolicked among thee; oily confines of thy's skin? Art thou not ashamed?"
As such, I beseech you to read through this piece of text, and hopefully we may clear up some differences between us.
I remember the good days where you were recumbent in the epidermis, deep in your 'eternal sleep' that could only be awakened by the appearance of Prince Testosterone. My voice high and whiny, my face flawless, and it was much more comfortable in the pants. He appeared far too soon. Hair shot from the unlikeliest of places, oil pores spat poison and the voice shattered. Moans replaced screeches, coughing was hoarse and vocal range was shortened significantly.
It was puberty.
That very day... It was a mix of both pleasure and horror when I first found you. Your oleaginousness was a proclamation of my discovered physical maturity! Still, the pus within disagreed with exodermis. You would turn red with anger if I tried to pry you out, and if I unwittingly do, you'll explode in an achromatic splendor. (Just so you know, that would hurt me more than it hurts you.)
Never mind about the past grievances, and I never did mind. But you took a turn for the worse, when you started mixing around with various chemicals behind my back! (Technically, it was on my face. But, never mind that.) You tried to outnumber me with your shenanigans, and I ignored you for a while. I kept telling myself that you would settle down sooner or later. But did you?
I regret to say that I had to stop you. I didn't mind if you were the only one around. But you invited more to come stay. Multiplying, your kind tripled and even quadrupled. To make matters worse, you people based yourselves on a nucleated pattern on my forehead. What is it, my cheeks too cold for you? You left me no choice but to wash you away. And tried, I did. You just kept coming back. It was as though you missed me.
The feeling is not mutual.
I tried to put some kind of hold over you; to control you. You allowed yourself to be for only a short while, rebelling against me soon after. What is it that you want? Saponaceous products were applied to ward against you, and the whole body imbibed delight through every pore. Until you defeated them. Hydrogen dioxide did not deter you, neither did talcum. Even the tried-and-tested toothpaste failed at grasping you. In a desperate attempt, I even attempted inveigling, but you resisted such cajoling.
And so I ask, what is it that you crave for?
My everlasting despair? Low-self esteem?
It would seem that you have succeeded in your attempts of being a deleterious effect. For that, I applaud your persistance. But this has got to stop. These few years have been long enough; My patience wears thin. You have to go, Pamela. Thank you for all the bad times, and may we never meet again.
Yours Sincerely,
Donovan
- - - - - - - - - -
Author's Notes:-
This funny piece was sparked off by a certain conversation between Pamela and I. She is therefore, my pimple. Anywho, Donovan would be off for a week or two due to examinations. See you mid-May!
Cheerio!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Nintendo's Revolution was almost called Go.
Wait, Nintendo, stop.
Because...
Nintendo's Revolution is now renamed Wii.
Si?Wii!
-Insert toilet humour here-
- - - - -
Excerpt from their hype-filled prose concerning the name-change:-
"Introducing ... Wii. As in "we." While the code-name "Revolution" expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer. Wii will break down that wall that separates video game players from everybody else. Wii will put people more in touch with their games ... and each other.
But you're probably asking: What does the name mean?"
"Wii sounds like 'we,' which emphasizes this console is for everyone. Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just Wii."
"Wii has a distinctive "ii" spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering to play. And Wii, as a name and a console, brings something revolutionary to the world of video games that sets it apart from the crowd."
"So that's Wii. But now Nintendo needs you. Because, it's really not about you or me. It's about Wii. And together, Wii will change everything."
- - - - -
You gotta be shittin' me. (Oh wait, no pun intended)
Apparently the board of directors of Nintendo must have been cock-headed.
Who would be so much of a dick to re-name a gaming product as a part of the male anatomy?
`
Don calls for evidence against the board of directors!
- - - - -
"Mommy! I've finished my homework! Can I go play with my Wii now?"
"Alright, here's your Wii. Don't play with it too long, you hear?
"Yes, Mommy."
- - - - -
Guilty, you pedophiles!
`
Joystiq.com provided many other puns for us to enjoy...
-I need a Wii now! I can't wait until this fall!
-"Hey Mom, Roger's bringing his Wii over. We're going to connect his Wii to my Wii and then we'll play all night."
(And Don's personal favourite)
-Wii Willy Winky runs through town, upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown. Knocking on the window, crying through the lock "Are the children all in bed? It’s past eight o’clock."
Wankers.
- - - - - - - - -
They say, "Revolution is our direction, but Wii is our answer."
If only having Wii was the solution to everything, then the fairer sex would have it all.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Ever had something to get off your chest, but never could?
Have you ever compromised a relationship?
Have we?
Donovan watched on as under-par graphics flashed one scene after another, a myriad of horrible grammar trying to convey a plot so cliche...
... Yet it has successfully touched audiences.
A tear was felt rolling down Don's cheek as his mind made sense of what was happening. Was that?
This can't be...Horrible plot, it's been done dozens of times!...But, what was that?Don smiled.
Maybe we're complacent...
Maybe we were bound to err.
After all, aren't we just humans?
But still, sometimes we can make amends.
For you never know that one person...
Might be her.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Her and Mine 1,001 Wishes
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/309291- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Monday, April 24, 2006
"Given 3x³+2x²+x+2= (x²+2x-1)(3x-4)+Ax+B for all values of x, find the value of A and of B."
Chey.
"Find the coordinates of the two points on the curve y= 4-x² whose tangent pass through the point (-1,7)."
Err... so-so, la.
"A rectangle ABCD has sides AB= a and BC= 2a. ABP and CDQ are isoceles triangles with angle BAP= Θ. PQ is therefore parallel to AD and midway between BC and AD.
Given that S= AP+BP+CQ+PQ+DQ , show that S= 2a/cos Θ + 2a - a tan Θ
Given that d/d Θ (1/cos Θ) = sin Θ/cos² Θ, find an expression for dS/dΘ.
Hence, deduce the value of Θ at which S has a stationary value. Find this value of S. "
... Har?! Simi lai eh? Tia buay jit, la! Wa um hiu! Siam, siam!
The mid-years are here, with Additional Mathematics being one of the first subjects tested.
Donovan being an Andersonian student, has to succumb to a certain vice-principal's whims. How so?
Monday, English and Additional Mathematics tested.
Tuesday, Social Studies and
Biology.
Wednesday, Chemistry and Geography.
Thursday, Humanities Elective (Literature for Don) and Physics.
Friday, Higher Mother Tongue.
Oh, that and Elementary Mathematics tested on the following Tuesday.
Who in the right mind would place geography, a memory-hungry subject, with chemistry?!
Has it EVER occured to that witless (insert vulgarity here) that there's only Higher Mother Tongue on Friday, and that she could allocate something insane like Geography or perhaps Literature for that day, should all else fail?
(Do note that the syllabus for HMT has been changed drastically- There can no longer be any preparation for it. That means that there are no "cheng yu", "zao qu" or whatever bloody phrase that we could memorise. That means we CANNOT study for it.)
Bah, there's nothing much for Don to say, anyway. He's off to practise maths (not that he'll pass, heh).
- - - - -
Dear Potassium Hydroxide,
Your nickname is likened to yourself. Impossible. There would be much to write about your incompetency, but Blogspot has a certain limit of bandwidth that one should adhere to. Gigabytes of text could not contain a fraction of what 'feats of stupidity' you have achieved. Alas, you are but an idiot.
Someone ought to permutate your differentiations, you integrate of a binomial approximate.
- -- - -
Mathematics is fun!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
DeviantArt is interesting. What makes it interesting, though? Art and forums aside, we have...
dAmn.
No, it's not a vulgarity. It's...
deviantART messaging network.
Thousands of deviants swarm in and out of this amazing network, a covey of...well... networks, put together by a team of bored people, with quite alot of computer knowledge.
(Oh, thank you, bored ones.)
And as we all know, funny stuff happens once in a while. Not when dAmn is concerned. Mad shit happens there all the time. Therefore, another group of bored people came together to form...
bAsh.
The DeviantART Quote Database. The database to track all the amazing jack-assery and overall nonsense happening in the place, as a classic, for future referrals by our deviant descendants to see that the first people to use the service of DA weren't exactly saint-like.
So now, another bored person comes into picture. This person is called Donovan.
He forms what we will call the...
Don's Guide to getting into bAsh (lovingly referred to as the DGGB)
There are many ways to get into bAsh, but here are some of the ways to truly be one with bAsh, young grasshopper...
- - - - -
1) Be WallOfTruth.
Ex. 1omniomi>top 25 added
walloftruth>i was gonona say that omn i
walloftruth>an di'm a litt drunk
walloftruth>and i'm a little drink*
walloftruth>NERRY CHRISTAS
omniomi>lol merry jingley edwerd
walloftruth>KNAI
Ex. 2serge> coconut.
Insignificant-Other> mango
MechanicalRaven> Papaya
serge> cantelope
madnessism> orange
MechanicalRaven> Bread-fruit
* WallOfTruth is back
serge>quick name a fruit!
WallOfTruth> WallOfTruth
(1(i). or just be insane)
Ex. 2walloftruth>when i say happy happy
walloftruth>you guys say joy joy
walloftruth>READY?!
walloftruth>HAPPY HAPPY
lazygunn>FUCK OFF
- - - - -
2) Hurl abuse and insults. Just for the sake of it.Ex. 1omniomi>
So there are these three elves sitting around looking at themselves when one says "hey I bet I have the smallest hands in the world", he goes to the guiness book of world records and sure enough he gets in the book.
The second elf looks at his feet and wonders he runs off and comes back in the book for the smallest feet in the world.
The third elf feels a little left out... but then he looks in his pants and wonders... he runs off... but comes back looking really sad "WHO THE HELL IS WALLOFTRUTH!?"
Ex. 2pelvicthrusters>jeremy20020200: Question, if your parents divorce, are they still cousins?
Ex. 3pelvicthrusters>jeremy20020200: I find it hard to believe that there are 20020199 jeremy names taken, so this was your only option
jeremy20020200>PelvicThrusters: becuase I like they way it sounds. 200 20 200 is also a code.
pelvicthrusters>Ooh I like codes
pelvicthrusters>try this one
pelvicthrusters>uck off
pelvicthrusters>try and find what it means
jeremy20020200>PelvicThrusters: fuck you
pelvicthrusters>close..
pelvicthrusters>You have either taken too few or too many pills this morning
Ex. 4modest-rye>I wanted to pierce my lips.. but I don't know.
freakoftheeast> modest-rye: just pierce them together
Ex. 5** theXvoid was kicked by saskia-shadowpaw * THIS IS YOU: STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME (LAST TIME)
Ex. 6hidden-image>fucking slut bitch whore
control>i love you
hidden-image> I love you too
control> fucking cunt
(2(i). Insult yourself.)
Ex. 1Tridelvior>LiNKiNPaRKiSDaMnkEwL: your name makes my eyes bleed.
Bloody-Romance>Tridelvior: lol
writer91>lol
LiNKiNPaRKiSDaMnkEwL>Tridelvior: I was too retarded to make up a name.
Tridelvior>LiNKiNPaRKiSDaMnkEwL: no shit.
Ex. 2TheBadassDevil>SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK
TheBadassDevil>...
TheBadassDevil>I don't work out.
** TheBadassDevil has left
(2(ii). Have good comebacks.)E.g.cassed>my mom's Integra was having a tough time pushing though unplowed streets
soultown> what's an integra?
cassed> Acura Integra?
cassed> a car?
cassed> where have you BEEN?
soultown> Duh, New Zealand...
- - - - -
3) Spot random truths of life.Ex. 1philipjfry>They say if you are being raped, you should scream out "Fire" to get people's attention.
zacthetoad>Does that mean in a fire you should call out "Rape"?
Ex. 2subversive-imaginati>I swear I'm going to smack the next person who says I'm only popular because I've got lots of pageviews :eyetwitch:
ap3x>you aren't?
subversive-imaginati>ap3x: I pretty much saw a comment today that said everyone was agreeing with me and kissing my ass because I have loads of pageviews >.<>oh those bastards
ap3x>how retarded can people be
ap3x>I mean
ap3x>you kiss ass because it gets you somewhere
ap3x>not because someone has pageviews
Ex. 3rekluma>people like cute things ... i bet if we made hello kitty grenades it be easier for world domination ....
rekluma>but i'm rambling
Ex. 4switchbladeseranade>What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?"Yes!!! Surprise! I DO exist! You're fucked now aren't u?" '
Ex. 5yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
Ex. 6wildoats> This group of four sophomore cheerleaders were talking in my 4th period on Friday, about "boys". One girl was complaining about this freshman guy who wouldn't do some trivial fucking cutesy thing with her like play with her hair. At one point I specifically overheard her say, in a real whiny tone: "I guess freshmen just aren't mature enough to handle a relationship!" Followed immediately by: "Hand me my makeup Sarah, I don't feel pretty enough."
wildoats> I think in the process of trying to hold in the laughter, all my internal organs exploded simultaneously
- - - - -
4) Typo.
Ex. 1viciouszen>STOP JACKING MY LINES.
rnx>ViciousZen: I'LL JACK YOU IF I WANT
rnx>er
rnx>your line*
Ex. 2nishka>Evil-Thunder-Wolf: i need you to do me
nishka>damn enter KEY
nishka>OO;
nishka>OH SHIT
nishka>a favor x_X
Ex. 3prestron>I'm feeling very profain tonight
nishka>:o
nishka>propain?
prestron>profain
nishka>propain?
prestron>profane?
nishka>propain?
prestron>complain?
archangel-gabrial>Cali can stand as its own nation as far as inport and exports go
nishka>propane?
Ex. 4Tridelvior>bleedingmirror: so, i was right, i raped sheep.
Tridelvior>i mean
Tridelvior>"a" raped sheep.
Tridelvior>o shit.
Tridelvior>o shit o shit o shit.
Tridelvior>:whistle:
- - - - -
5) Speak the language of emo-kids (and get insults hurled at you).E.g.falsevacuum>OH FUCK YOU, IPOD AND ITUNES.
falsevacuum>YOURE A TAGTEAM OF DEATH AND HATRED
falsevacuum>APPLE MUST BE ROTTEN TO CREATE SUCH A DEMON
falsevacuum>PUN INTENDED.
falsevacuum>Okay.
falsevacuum>That was uncalled for.
codyrs>you forgot something
falsevacuum>Oh?
codyrs> /fucktard
- - - - -
6) Sexual innuendo. Tons of them. Anything with boobs and/or sex.Ex. 1bellchild>Is this like presex, realixing it's horrible sex, and trying to suck it up afterward faces?
nichka> bellchild more like no sex
nichka>unless hand counts ?
nichka> no hand dont count
ravielle> Your a founder
ravielle> you can masturbate if you want to
bellchild> I'm sure we couldn't stop him from touching himself.
nichka> im praticing for when mastabating becomes and olympia sport :paranoid:
bellchild> Going to be the master of the one hand ball-stroke or something?
bellchild>I think you can pull it off.If you keep practicing
* bellchild has faith in nichka and his olympic goals
Ex. 2mihamiha>Icarus-Has-Fallen: My mom is no horsie D:
icarus-has-fallen>HOW DO YOU KNOW?
icarus-has-fallen>>:
saurlygien>I DONT!!!oneeleven!"!!!!!!111
icarus-has-fallen>not you
mihamiha>Icarus-Has-Fallen: Because she won't let you ride her? :slow:
Ex. 3twexler>does being the boob king mean i get to see boobs?
chezza-t18> twexler: no. you just get to grope.
nykolai> :giggle:
twexler> chezza-t18: oh.. damn.
twexler> chezza-t18: long distence groping is difficult.
chezza-t18> twexler: i'll send you some moulding clay. :rofl:
twexler> chezza-t18: rofl.
Ex. 4ravielle>n1nj4-Katak-chan: but we love you
ravielle>n1nj4-Katak-chan: like kids love candy
n1nj4-katak-chan>Ravielle: so you like to peel the wraper off of me and stick me in your mouth
Ex. 5amysan>so earlier today i had my guitar and i was strumming and going on about someone's avatar
amysan>but now im just singing about how some people look like sperm
Ex. 6deep-brown>Hellfire-pup13: You should see me and a friend in physics : singing "My harem is massive, Ten thousand wives... All of them possessing... boobs of great size..."
deep-brown>To the theme of the phantom of the opera
Ex. 7pyrofirefly>Sex is good too
blue-six>No no no
blue-six>sex is great
pyrofirefly>Sex and liquor is better
blue-six>Alcohol tends to kill your erection, fyi.
autumn-rain>hmm
brendanangelo>And render you making mistakes
pyrofirefly>I'm not male
blue-six>...then your partner's erection, if you're into penises.
chuckskull>more importantly are penises into her?
Ex. 8* anextraordinarygirl watches her 3 year old pour milk on the cat and then lick it off :no:
switchbladeserenade> You let your 3 year old lick pussy?
- - - - -
7) Play obscure childhood games online. Like Duck, duck, goose.Ex. 1clovdyx>karyaazure: duck.
clovdyx> bellchild: duck.
clovdyx> ItsArtDear: duck.
clovdyx> mAstEr-BetTy: GOOSE
* Clovdyx runs.
** Clovdyx has been made a member of TriviaManager by Clovdyx *
animedevildog> :o
clovdyx> Hah, got your seat!
animedevildog> :lmao:
budgieishere> :O
karyaazure> lol
* Clovdyx has sucessfully completed the first game of online duck duck goose.
**side note: mAstEr-BetTy was the only person in the Trivia Manager postion. After promotion, Clovdyx was above her in that spot, thus "taking her seat"**
Ex. 2xexa>`ta
deviantfilms> xexa: Welcome to the RPG quest of DOOOOOOOM!You see a door. Do you enter or run away like a little baby?
xexa> `ta enter
deviantfilms> xexa: You have a hard time, but manage to budge the door open. As you enter, you are in complete dark. Do you wish to journey on blind or light a torch?xexa> `ta torch
deviantfilms> xexa: You pull a torch out of your pocket and light it, revealing the room to your eyes. There appear to be lots of scary monsters sleeping on the walls. Uh oh! Your light woke them up! They are angry, so they eat you.GAME OVER
xexa> :
** deviantFilms was kicked by xexa *
- - - - -
8) Power-abuse for the love of fun. (applies only to moderators) >=)Ex. 1therealspiderman>hay
therealspiderman> any one ben in the euro room
therealspiderman> ?????
j2n4me> Yes
j2n4me> They were talking about this 'therealspiderman' bast- WAIT A MINUTE
** therealspiderman was kicked by j2n4me * I KNOW OF YOU AND YOUR TRICKERY..... DOCTOR OCTOPUS :O
aimee-oz> LMAO
levdir> j2n4me: ROFFLES
Ex. 2** switchbladeserenade has joined
** mdvbilt was kicked by switchbladeserenade * :alienglomp: SNIPER ATTACK MODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
** switchbladeserenade has left
Ex. 3** happyevilness has joined
krauttrooper00> Be happy now!
happyevilness> why the fuck do you ppl keep kicking me?
** happyevilness was kicked by devilious-red * Because we like the feel of your ass on our boots
krauttrooper00> Good one.
(8(i). Or make moderation something fun.)E.g.nenimo>Oukan: just working on annoying homework, and using Azildin, and nethlegolas as distractions from annoying homework
azildin>Nenimo: I'd do a lap dance but it isn't appropriate for the room
nenimo>Azildin: kick everyone else then and make with lap dance
** spyed has left [connection closed]
nenimo>Azildin: ok, spyed is gone. now kick MNBot and make with the lap dance
** Nenimo was kicked by Azildin * Bye MNBot
azildin>oops..
azildin>miss tab.
azildin>again
** Nenimo has joined
azildin>Nenimo: sorry man.. that was a mis-tab kick
nenimo>Azildin: :nod: oh don't worry, i beleave you
nenimo>:no:
azildin>Nenimo: let me guess it was the n instead of m that gave it away.
- - - - -
9) Be misunderstood. Badly.
Ex. 1suk0shi-hamu>Gah. I'm hot.
* Suk0sHi-HaMu turns the heater off
siebenzehn> Suk0sHi-HaMu: you are :flirty:
isabelucha> YES!
isabelucha> She ADMITED!
suk0shi-hamu> siebenzehn: That's not what I meant. :thumb4619560:
siebenzehn> I'm gonna bAsh it so everyone knows :b
siebenzehn> :bucktooth:
suk0shi-hamu> NOOOOO.
siebenzehn> :evillaugh:
suk0shi-hamu> I meant heat, heat, I have heat inside me :tears:
isabelucha> siebenzehn: I thought about that. :bucktooth:
suk0shi-hamu> .....That didn't come out right either. >_>
suk0shi-hamu> :thumb11937076:
suk0shi-hamu> STOP BASHING ME.
suk0shi-hamu> You're too quiet, you conspirators
Ex. 2timmc>switchbladeserenade: lol, maybe, check ItsArtDear, i know his model =P
timmc> more than he does :evillaugh:
timmc> *cough*
** TimMc was kicked by kricky * no hard cocks in here please
** TimMc has joined
timmc> lol, i'm soft :roll:
timmc> don't quote that :evileye:
Ex. 3StacyBecker>my horse loves me more than any man could
StacyBecker>damn that sounded wrong
- - - - -
10) Be talented.E.g.In #Music...
07:21:03 pm
daylight>
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
(10(i)Or not.)
E.g.07:21:46 pm
tridelvior>omg
tridelvior>roses are red
tridelvior>violets are blue
tridelvior>some poems rhyme
tridelvior>but this one doesnt
- - - - -
11) Just be plain nonsensical.
Ex. 1* Azildin has a dream of being served Chinese food in bed by George W. Bush wearing a pink tutu and calling me Master.
Ex. 2pelvicthrusters>Ha! I won
pelvicthrusters>you owe me five dollars flameturret
flameturret>PelvicThrusters: :O_o: why
pelvicthrusters>because I won
flameturret>Fine *pays teh man*
pelvicthrusters>awesome
pelvicthrusters>$5 dollars! I could have nethlegolas for a whole week!
nethlegolas>PelvicThrusters: :shakefist: you could have me beat the shit outta you for a whole week
love4art>nethlegolas: your worth more than that! :hug: 5 millions more like!pelvicthrusters>nethlegolas: 5 million!? jeez thats a bit rich for a week
pelvicthrusters>nethlegolas: can I pay you in taco's?
nethlegolas>PelvicThrusters: well...for you....no
Ex. 3* isabelucha listens to her rawring tummy.
* siebenzehn puts an ear on isabelucha's rawring tummy :aww:
isabelucha> siebenzehn: :no: it's not pretty!
siebenzehn> :excited: I think I felt your stomach kicking. Congratulations! It's gonna be a hunger!
isabelucha> LAWL.
Ex. 4rapidograph>my turn to leave now... gotta study for my urine test tomorrow
Ex. 5* LittleBastadcrams bacon into floppy drive
misaniovent>LittleBastad: Oh, that's sexy!
littlebastad>Heheh.
hildeknight>Mmm, floppy
insignificant-other>hey bleedingmirror
misaniovent>LittleBastad: Try it again harder.
Drive that floppy in!
nykolai>Insignificant-Other: it works digitally, but not so traditionally.
littlebastad>bleedingmirror: Don't you love entering a room to find things like this?
hildeknight>DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY
misaniovent>bleedingmirror: Hey!
misaniovent>The floppy's leaking!
littlebastad>It's leaking memory juice!
Ex. 6
Bluecatdemoness: We're breaking up. After 0 seconds, we're breaking up.
AkumaItami: :O_o: We were together?
Bluecatdemoness: No. But we want to set the record for the shortest relatioship. So.
Bluecatdemoness: Let's date.
Bluecatdemoness:We're breaking up.
- - - - -
12) Have random exclaimations.
Ex. 1
eskirinabsolute>STOP THROWING YOUR VAGINAS AT ME.
Ex. 2
newklear>CHUM CHAI PONG WAI NO CHEE RICE RICE BABY HOOI WINGWONG CHING CHINK HAWS KAWAII =^_^=
newklear>Look Ping, I can speak your native tongue!
Ex. 3
OHHHHHH row row row your fucking damn motherfucking boat....geeeeeently down that punkass fucking damnshit motherfucker of a STREAAAAM
Ex. 4
* summaro doesnt like working in Director
* mykel has never used Director.
* Gordorca doesn't know what is Director
* elementalplatinum humps Director.
- - - - -
13) Be 1337.
E.g.
grubin> "The internet probably doesn't exist either, since it's not mentioned in the Bible."
grubin> "What!? Haven't you read of OMG 13:37? Where MoXXors leads the j00s out of pwnage?"
- - - - -
14) Be mean to n00bs.
Ex. 1
bloody-pingvin>alt ctrl del shitft mouse 4 f10
love4art>not funny Bloody-Pingvin
bloody-pingvin>go to the msdos prompt!
bloody-pingvin>and type
bloody-pingvin>format C:
nichka>Bloody-Pingvin: ctrl +r :aww:
** Bloody-Pingvin has left [connection closed]
** Bloody-Pingvin has joined
bloody-pingvin>refresh hotkey?ed
(nishi): he was also asking ppl to push alt +f4 and crtl+w and stuff. SO PWNED.
Ex. 2
OMGWTFBBC>how do you do the slanty text
Donovan-T>OMGWTFBBC: alt+f4
** OMGWTFBBC has left [connection closed]
** OMGWTFBBC has joined
OMGWTFBBC>that was mean
OMGWTFBBC>it didnt work
- - - - -
15) Make fun of the screen-names of others.
Ex. 1
xad>hereticschizoid: i have probably asked/ told you this, but your name sounds like a really bad STD sometimes
Ex. 2
thewhitewolf07>half-fix: does your name mean your half broken?
half-fix>......
nishka>xD
half-fix>EVERY one asks me that
- - - - -
16) Type like an idiot.
E.g.
kricky> acidic-lust: u wer maen 2 me this murnin :(
acidic-lust> kricky: ur fayse is maen 2 m3 ervydai
kricky> i dun evn se u vry dai
acidic-lust> ur fayse iz stil maen
Nefarious-lover> kricky, acidic-lust ... is there a plugin to talk like that or...?
(16(i). Or be an idiot.)
Ex. 1
MC-Frizzle>I made a kid cry 2 days ago.
MC-Frizzle>:o
MC-Frizzle>I just stared at him for ten seconds because he was staring at me and he went all like "WAAAH! :cries:"
MC-Frizzle>And I said: "I WIN!" and laughed at him and quickly ran away.
Ex. 2
MadelineTulipIV> I am confused by the americans
TheArcticBanana> MadelineTulipIV: Me too. :petting:
MadelineTulipIV> TheArcticBanana: are you from germany also?
TheArcticBanana> MadelineTulipIV: No, I'm from America.
MadelineTulipIV> I do not understand :o
( Arctic is just too much, sometimes. : )
- - - - -
17) Forgetting/Not knowing real-life names of online aquaintances.
E.g.
tassel> hey matt
eStunt> hey you
eStunt> how you doing?
tassel> you don't know my name, do you
- - - - -
18) Be a wise-ass.
Ex. 1
inennui> Asked why the administration has so far failed to locate Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, Bush said, "Because he's hiding."
ashwynmayr> oh
ashwynmayr> so it's that simple?
inennui> Yeah
inennui> I wish I could find answers like that for stuff like
inennui> "Why can't you find sex with any girls?"
inennui> "They're hiding"
Ex. 2
blutVonMalin> :evillaugh: I am more powerful than her non existent kicking powers.
** blutVonMalin was kicked by saurlygien * Get a glass of water and go to bed, bish. NOW!
- - - - -
19) Cover-up should you make a mistake.
E.g.
Blue-Six>darkmoon3636: WORD TO YOUR MOTHER
darkmoon3636>My mom is dead, Blue-Six :(
Blue-Six>darkmoon3636: ELOGY TO YOUR MOTHER
- - - - -
20) Be the best of them all.
E.g.
in-art-we-trust>kapuk: by telling people oo, I have 1346 message centre items? I read that and think "lazy bastard" ;)
* in-art-we-trust has 53 messages...:p
* Rushy has NO Messages :D
* The-Definition has 4,052 messages
- - - - -
You've seen the weirdest, meanest, and funniest. Now, good luck getting into bAsh now. Remember, DeviantART.com is your friend!
Ever so sincerely (bish), Donovan.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Sometimes life just turns around and kicks you in the nuts...
- - - - -
*First off, the author would like to apologise for the last entry. Song lyrics on a blogpost are NOT considered decent blog entries. No, it really isn't, unless you follow those up with your own writing.*
- - - - -
Pitter-patter. Pitter-patter.
Drop by drop disappeared as they bounced off Don's body, forming a stream on the wet floor.
Drop by drop that Don planned what he was going to discuss with his mother, too.
The last drop fell as Don toweled himself off and changed. He left the misty room with a heavy heart.
Step.
Step.
Step.
Knock. Knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's me, Mum. Open up, I need to talk to you."
"What?"
"Just open."
The door opened slightly, admitting entrance to the master bedroom. A drink by the side-table, the television churned up. Another one of those meaningless serials that Mother never bothered to follow-up on.
"Mum, I need to talk to you."
"Yeah, you said that the first time. What is it?"
"Well... it's like this. I don't think- Mum?"
Mother's eyes were fixated on the exaggerated actions of an unknown HongKong actor. Her eyes never fell upon her only son.
"Yeah, I'm listening. Don't hafta look at you to listen, right."
"Alright, see here..."
Explaining was done, and after what seemed eternity, Mother finally turned to Don.
"You're stupid. This is obviously a simple enough problem. Why can't you stop bugging me about your pro-" Mother wasn't happy.
"My problems? That's yours too! I only wanted to bring that to your attention after an eternity-"
"Eternity? Stop lying."
"... You know what I mean."
"And now you know what I mean. Just do this...
...
...
...
Got it?"
"But isn't that what I proposed?!"
"No, yours is illogical."
"And yours is?!" Don asked in bewilderment. What in the bloody-
"Yes, now go and do your work."
"No! I came to TALK to you about something, not only ask your advice! My suggestion is not necessarily the best! If I knew what to do I wouldn't consult you!"
"Then stop raising your voice and we'll talk!"
"... I am not shouting. You are." Don looked at his mother unsympathetically.
*At this point of time, Don's Mother entered the room and borrowed Don's scanner, thus ripping the cables from the main electrical port accidentally. Thank you, Recover Post.*
"I've said what I've said already. You can either accept that or continue being a fool. I'm going to watch TV now. Go do your work. But you never do your work anyway..."
"Don't change the topic. What are we going to do about it?"
"I Already told you. Now go before I turn nasty."
"You already are..." Don muttered under his breath.
"What?"
"I said you already are!"
"You're just asking for a scolding, right?"
"You always told me to tell you the truth, what! What am I supposed to say, nothing? Then later you'll get more angry knowing that I lied."
"Get out."
Don exited the room and closed the door behind him, just before Mother returned to her rendezvous with the large metal box.
"My own mother, choosing the TV over her only son..." Don sighed as he returned to his room, not before he heard this reply.
"That's because you do the same to me whenever you're on the computer!"
...
"That was only ONCE! I did not realise you were at home at all!" Don shouted through the door.
"Same here, then!" The door replied.
"What you mean 'same here'? You know I'm here! Two wrongs don't make a right! Bloody hell!"
"Whatever, la!"
"So how about what I said just now?!"
"Do as you see fit, I don't want to know about it!"
"Then why do I even come and ask for your advice! I could jolly well figure it out myself!" Don bellowed into the fine grains of the varnished door frame.
"Then do it! And go do your work now!"
... For the love of...
"I'm not joking. Now!" The door resounded.
"I'm going, I'm going!"
- - - - -
Over-Emotional-Kid Life of Quotes:-
Volume Four-hundred seventy-three; Chapter six; Paragraph Seven.
Never talk to your parents about your (or even their) problems while they're entertained by a big metal box. They'll never listen to you. Ever.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Mr. Bobby, oh Mr. Bobby...
This song is just so soothing that Donovan could not resist just making a blogpost dedicated to it.
- - - - -
Title : Mr. Bobby
Name : 樽木栄一郎
Song : 樽木栄一郎
Lyrics : 樽木栄一郎
Composition : 樽木栄一郎
BPM : 103
First appearance : GuitarFreaks 10thMIX & DrumMania 9thMIX
悲しみの粒は喜びに変わる
弾け飛んだ僕の心に 未知の感情
帰りのバス停で Bobby を見かけた
それは風の強い午後でした
貴方はいつもの葉巻をくわえたまま
髭をさすりながら 微笑む
優しさに満ちた 眼差しが僕に刺さる
考える間もない
指指す先 使いかけの言葉の山 tell me why?
悲しみの粒は喜びに変わる
弾け飛んだ僕の心に 未知の感情
愛情の有無を確かめ合うのは ai yae ah!
一人になる事を恐れているから
- - - - -
After countless minutes of searching through the dictionary and translators, Donovan has finally come up with logical lyrics.
Here they are.
Title : Mr. Bobby
Name : Ichiro ( Donovan has yet to ascertain the proper translation of said name)
Song : Ichiro
Lyrics : Ichiro
Composition : Ichiro
BPM : 103
First appearance : GuitarFreaks 10thMIX & DrumMania 9thMIX
The grain of a straw raincoat changes to joy, sadly
Repelling sadness in my heart, where there is unknown feelings
Bobby was to be seen at the bus stop of his return
That was the afternoon when the wind is strong
As for you, while the usual Hamaki is gripped
Of which points to the moustache as you smile
I've never forgotten the look, full in kindness
You think it is prompt
Fingers pointing, even mountains ask why
The grain of a straw raincoat changes to the joy, sadly
Repelling sadness in my heart, where there is unknown feelings
It is artificial intelligence that shows where your true feelings lie ai yae ah!
Because of the fact that you have become the one person that is feared
- - - - -
Edit: Found the Kanji translations, after a whole damn year.
Kanashimi no tsubu wa yorokobi ni kawaru
Hajiketonda boku no kokoro ni michi no kanjou
Kaeri no BASU tei de Bobby wo mikaketa
Sore wa kaze no tsuyoi gogo deshita
Anata wa itsumo no hamaki wo kuwaeta mama
Hige wo sasuri nagara hohoemu
Yasashiisa ni michita manazashi ga boku ni sasaru
Kangaeru mamonai
Yubisasu saki
Tsukaikake no kotoba no yama tell me why
Kanashimi no tsubu wa yorokobi ni kawaru
Hajiketonda boku no kokoro ni michi no kanjou
Aijou no umu wo kashikame au no wa
Hitori ni naru koto wo asorete iru kara
Kouen no BENCHI de Bobby wo mikaketa
Sore wa roku kaoru gogo deshita
Anata ni au made nani mo shirazu ni boku wa
Ugokumono ni nedan wo tsuketa
Atama kakimushiri ijou na netsu wo hanatsu
Uso de katameta kankei
Mezameru toki
Senaka ni kanjiru kuroi kage do you know?
Itsudemo wakariaeteta AITSU to wa
Konogoro nazeka sure sagai bakari nanda
Atarashi sugite furukusai to iwareru no wa
Toki no nagare ni mi wo makesete inai kara
Kanashimi no tsubu wa yorokobi ni kawaru
Hajiketonda boku no kokoro ni michi no kanjou
Aijou no umu wo kashikame au no wa
Hitori ni naru koto wo asorete iru kara
Itsudemo wakariaeteta AITSU to wa
Konogoro nazeka sure sagai bakari nanda
Atarashi sugite furukusai to iwareru no wa
Toki no nagare ni mi wo makesete inai kara
- - - - -
Awesome.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
The following was extracted from The Electric NewPaper, 11th April 2006.
Online gamer who says he's a JC student sparks war in cyberspace when he calls polytechnic undergrads...
STUPID, CHILDISH
Stupid - 'If someone can't even meet the minimum cut-off to enter a JC, it's just plain sad'
Childish - 'People from poly should know their place'
'POLY students are stupid, childish and mindless kids.'
By Liew Hanqing
11 April 2006
'POLY students are stupid, childish and mindless kids.'
This comment posted on an online gaming forum website by a flamer, who claims to be a junior college student, has led to a 'poly-JC war' on the Internet.
A flamer is one who makes derogatory comments on the Internet.
It all started last Wednesday when the flamer, with the nickname Redpony, accused poly students of the increased 'ks-ing' - or kill-stealing - during gaming sessions.
Kill-stealing is the practice of killing an enemy which another player has already started to attack.
His original post read: 'The reason why you see ks-ing is because the polys are having their holidays now - who doesn't know that a lot of the poly people are just stupid, childish and mindless kids?'
Things turned ugly on the forum as some local enthusiasts of the online game MapleStory - developed by South Korean developer Wizet - turned game talk into outright flaming - directed at polytechnic students.
Multiple posts on the MapleStory forum, hosted by Asiasoft, contained comments that polytechnic students were inferior to JC students.
In one particularly offensive post, Redpony wrote: 'If someone can't even meet the minimum cut-off (points) to enter a JC, it's just plain sad.
'People from poly should know their place.'
Forums on massively multi-player online role-playing games (MMORPGs) are popular because these games often involve group missions, where multiple players must embark on real-time game quests together.
Players frequent these forums to discuss game strategies and group quests.
Gamers usually discuss topics such as whether the buying and selling of maps (or training spots) on the game was right or wrong.
But for this particular game, conversations on the game's online forum seem to have diverged from their intended topics.
SWAMPED
The flaming has escalated to the point that multiple forum threads are now swamped with incensed responses to Redpony's original post.
One forum member was so upset with his comments that she wrote to The New Paper.
Said first-year polytechnic student May Chan, 17: 'The comments have hurt me deeply - do JC students really think they are superior to us poly students?'
Other users responded angrily on the forum itself.
Said user n34tsd: 'Whether they are from the poly or not, it's wrong to stereotype that poly students are dumb, childish and that they can't make it to JC.
'You should be more sensitive in what you say and not generalise all poly students like that - such generalisation only shows your level of maturity.'
Other forum members lashed out against JC students.
Said Rambo2001: 'You think JC student so good, ah? In fact they are worse - they can't even think logically.
'They only know how to memorise books. So what if you are good in memorising but your mind is not flexible? You still lose out.'
But some provided level-headed responses.
One forum poster who claimed to have scored 9 points in the O levels wrote: 'I still went to poly instead of JC, because JC is for nerds.'
In response, a JC student said on the forum: 'I was from JC, and I entered JC because I didn't
know what path I wanted - that's why I didn't go to poly to specialise.
'JC is not below poly nor is poly below JC - they are just alternate paths after secondary school education.'
Said Benedict Chew, 18, a student at ITE Simei, who frequents the gaming forum: 'He (Redpony) came across as being arrogant, to the point of being boastful.
'Coming from the 'slower' group of students sometimes hardens someone against such remarks. But what I have against him is his arrogance and that he thinks he's above the rest because he's from a JC.'
On JC students, Benedict said that he didn't feel it was right to stereotype a group of students because of one black sheep.
'JC, poly and ITE are just different paths for one to choose from - eventually they lead to the same place,' he added.
Redpony declined The New Paper's request for an interview.
He simply asked us to refer to his posts on the forum thread.
Other JC students we spoke to were appalled with the insensitive nature of the forum posts.
Said Evelyn Low, 18, a second-year JC student: 'I know people who have done well in the O levels but who chose to go to the polys.
'They are people who know clearly what they want to do - poly courses are more specialised. Grades don't mean everything.'
Agreeing, Stephanie Tay, 17, a first-year JC student, said: 'The polys are increasingly being seen as an alternative to JC education - I don't think at all that they are 'dumping grounds' like what people used to think.
'It's childish to think you're above anyone else just based on grades.'
HEATED EXCHANGE 1
Redpony: The fact that we can do better in all the exams up till now means that we have a better learning ability than the rest of you. We still do well in subjects we don't like. Put an average JC student in a poly and he'll ace everything. HTML? Teach it to any JC student and he will definitely master it in less than half the time poly people take. I don't see how the poly kids can ever do better than any jc boy when they can't even do well for the O Levels. O Levels is just elementary stuff. Simple maths, simple science and basic mastery of your languages.
n34tsd: It's wrong of you to stereotype that poly students are dumb, childish, and can't make it to JC. I was from poly and am doing well in the university now. Who are you to call other people stupid, mindless and childish? You are being childish and pretty mindless in doing that. No one has the right to call anyone else stupid - you may be smart in your studies, but how street smart or how good are you in hands-on work?
HEATED EXCHANGE 2
Redpony: Why are you getting so upset over the things I said? The truth hurts doesn't it? I really wish I have as much time as the rest of you. Poly people have all the time. Like you need to put in any effort to get a diploma. LOL. I can't maple as much. I'm just browsing the forums and doing my work at the same time.
GospelFlame: Me upset? Nah, im just amazed about how your mind thinks. Such arrogance.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Donovan's comments?
"See? It's not whether you're from JC, Poly, or even ITE.
It doesn't matter even if your L1R5 score is a perfect 6 or a lagi-perfect 54.
All that matters is that this childish incident was sparked off by an immature mapler.
Ended by a journalist, who, I shall proudly presume, does NOT play MapleStory."
Donovan's comments to Redpony?
"Siao. Talk to the hamji (coward) for what? Let him rot in hell for all I care."
Moral of the story?
Fuck Elitism. Stop playing MapleStory. Stop being childish.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
There are many things you do not know about Donovan.
Here are some things you might want to know.
(Inspired by a random e-mail and shameless rip-offs)
1. Donovan's tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
2. If you can see Donovan, he can see you. If you can't see Donovan, you may be only seconds away from death.
3. Donovan has counted to infinity. Twice.
4. Donovan does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Donovan goes killing.
5. Donovan doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
6. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Donovan, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
7. Donovan once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
8. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Donovan out. It failed miserably.
9. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Donovan allows to live.
10. Donovan has been the only guy to have ever defeated a brick wall in a game of tennis.
11. Donovan doesn't churn butter. He punches the cows and the butter comes straight out.
12. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Donovan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
13. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Donovan jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
14. Donovan originally appeared in the 'Street Fighter II' video game, but had the name changed to "Dan". The producer was never to be seen again.
15. Donovan once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
16. Donovan once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Donovan re-entered the Earth's atmosphere, streaking over 3 continents, 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3,000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA staff publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a meal.
17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Donovan once swallowed a pacific turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
18. Donovan can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds, and then churn it into butter in his body.
19. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Donovan.
20. Donovan discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Donovan is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Donovan attacked Albert Einstein with his little finger. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
21. The Donovan military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Donovan unit could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
22. In an average living room there are 1,823 objects Donovan could use to kill you, including the room itself.
23. Donovan has wedgied Superman.
24. Donovan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
25. Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Donovan. Not to be outdone, Donovan invented the car accident.
26. Donovan once beat the dictionary in a spelling bee. The dictionary then burst into flames by Donovan's single gaze.
27. Everyone knows that whenever a bell rings, a angel gets its wings. Few people, however, know that when an angel gets its wings, Donovan shoots an angel down. This is why so few churches use bells on Sundays today.
28. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, unless Donovan so wills it.
29. Donovan once heard someone say "It's not the heat that kills you, it's the humidity". Donovan threw him at the sun.
30. The battle of Boyne never happened the way it was to be. Donovan ate King William the day before, then took his place in battle.
31. On a scale of 1 to 10, Donovan kicks ass.
32. The first true moon landing occurred when Donovan entered a long jump competition. He then left a note to Neil Armstrong. The note wrote, "Say the following line - This is a small step for mankind..."
33. Donovan was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Donovan".
34. Donovan can pause live TV just by saying "pause".
35. There was going to be a Special Edition Deluxe Donovan toilet paper, but Donovan doesn't take shit from anybody.
36. Hell is waiting until Donovan dies before it freezes over. Hell will be waiting a long time.
37. Rainbows occur because Donovan likes them.
38. Donovan can survive for 17 years in the desert without a natural source of water due to his ability to squeeze water out of the surrounding air.
39. If Donovan wants to kick you, he will. And if he does, it will hurt. Forever.
40. Donovan beat the IBM Big Blue computer at chess in 3 moves. He had only two pawns and a checker.
Now that you know more about Donovan, don't fuck with him. Ever.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Think delicious. Think Ramli.
The occasional night market (pasar malam) has finally arrived to a place near you. So you empty your piggy bank, get out your electric fan and venture into the warm hustle and bustle.
Your ears pick up familiar songs blaring from the other end of the bazaar. How familiar, you ask? Twinkle twinkle little star familiar. Yes, those annoying nursery rhymes that you could never forget. You never will, so as long these bazaars keep on playing those classic tunes. Nostalgia. You attempt to struggle to the front of the stall to look at the CDs containing these songs. $5.90- $10.90 each. You would be better off downloading the songs through P2P.
Yet, this is not what you're looking for. You're looking for food! So stop ogling the pretty girl by the potted plant stall, and get back to the agenda.
You see a line of tables laid next to each other, an asssortment of fried food laying innocently before you as you fail to lay your hands on them unless you pay. Why? Over- heated metal casings and a glass barrier. Cuttlefish balls, chicken nuggets, fried fish fillets, even fried tofu. Apparently these stall-holders have a knack for throwing anything edible into the deep-fryer. Alas, 'anything fried tastes good'. Hm.
Bah, this is not what you're looking for. You walk past the sausage waffles, the Yakitori balls and even the Japanese pizzas. You see something. No wait, false alarm. That's just the 'authentic' Indonesian Shark's Fin going for $2 a bowl. What, you're not looking for that? It's shark's fin, mind you! Damn, you're a picky one.
Tidbit stalls, game stalls, ooh. Bingo. Satay stall? Not that either? What in the bloody-
-Ah! You're looking for a Ramli!
...
...
...
A Ramli Special, I suppose?
No wonder. A carefully fried omelette wraps around a tasty chicken/beef/fish patty, covered with freshly diced vegetables and sauted with a smother of barbecue sauce and mayonnaise. All that atop a generous slice of cheese and lightly toasted buns.
All these for a reasonable price of $3.50.
"... Wait, $3.50? That's insanely expensive! You can get two meals in school for that amount!"
$3.50 for a throughly enjoyable meal, for one can never get enough of Ramli Specials.
The sauce just oozes out into your mouth as you take your first bite, the omelette breaking off easily as your canines sink into the juicy meat of the burger. In the meantime, the texture is heavenly, as the freshly diced lettuce complement the tomato slices, providing the extra crunch in the burger. Your first chew brings forth ecstacy as the molten cheese brings you to a new high. Now tell me, isn't this small amount of money worth an experience like no other?
This burger is fit for the junk-food-loving gods. In fact, this burger tastes so good it can no longer be considered junk food. It should be a staple for any Ramli enthusiast.
(Sources say that for just RM4, one can get the same with extra ingredients like maggi seasoning and sausages etc.)
Sinfully delicious.
Why?
Because it's a Ramli.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
MSN Login Initialized.
Side-Note: Names not reflective of person. Everything said here will be in jest.
Logging in: Donovan--@ hotmail.com
Password: ********************************
Login Successful.
Scanning through MSN nicks.
Concept started by Donovan as a stress-reliever.
Mission: Type the first mean or nonsensical thing that comes to your mind when you read these.
-Start-
1. Bluffology. So listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me. =)
And then we'll dance all night, baybeh!
2. ANALysm- Nyang! (Allah Pwnz)
Wtf?
3. Moves so sick, you'd call the medic
How sick would that be, then?
4. Because you got into me in a way words can't describe
A bloody, rotten mess would sum it all up.
5. a la votre!
Rightt.
6.Sacred Falconer.
Undeveloped Birdy.
7. No matter where you go, I'll always be with you, spiritually and mentally.
Stalker!
8. Deceptified simplicity.
Four-syllable words that don't make sense when put together.
9. And life goes on.
Not.
10. I WILL NOT BE EASILY BEATEN!! - i mus control myself
So that means you can still be beaten. Just not easily. =D
11. 4+8+15+16+23+42=108
1+1= Banana.
12. i love you.
It's an illusion.
13. Pull the trigger, end this illusion.
ROFL.
14. You took my heart away.
Why did you allow it to be taken in the first place?
15. Babelicious.
Roast pork!
16. And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain, Just smile back...
=))))
17. Life's great! Hehex..
EuU r sO bLufFiNg uRsElF LoRxXxXx...Kekex to that!
18. Dreams reflect inner desires..
-insert witty comment here-
19. Happy New Year!!!!
Astute of you to notice after four months.
20. Rahh.
Grahh!
21. Fine... You win, I lose... Damn! I never get to win any "World's Loser" contest!
World's biggest loser is won by your brother.
22. Sometimes, You Might Not Know What Hit You...
Strawberry muffin.
23. Ppl care abt ppl who care abt themselves.
If so, the world would be a much, much, happier place.
24. Don't ask.
Why?
25. Rancour.
Smellionator!
26. Path Of An Archer.
Arrows ran out, bow broke 'nto two.
27. Unos yijeros ergo~s...The Lethargy of Life.
You ain't talking sense now. *points at noose*
28. Rehabilitation.
Desertification.
29. Encrypted.
Password broken.
30. Blurp.
Burrrrrp. My burp's louder!
31. Not yet the love I want.
Good fer you!
32. (: I'm stupid.
(:
33. Masquerade.
Quack?
34. Irresponsibility.
What is up with these one-words?
35. By death I shall escape from death, and life eternal gain.
"By death I shall escape from death." Back to the blackboard, Einstein. Your sentences aren't making sense.
36. Kawaii!
Baka!
37. Unsimplicity.
Is that even a bloody word?
38. Beyond
... the mountains and the hilly spring valleys~~~
39. I realli duno wad can i do..
Then don't do anything.
40. wearethechampion
Champions use the space bar.
41. who.am.i.kidding.
Not me.
42. Perhaps being a kid ain't that bad..At least I dun have to put on a mask everyday.
Papa, is that you? Oh, it is! I couldn't recognise you from that mask >.>
43. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
(Damn, nothing to say about this. This is deep.)
44. Whatever. Do I care?
Yes you do, or not you wouldn't be typing this.
45. Love is not possession, that's why I choose to let it go. =]
You let love go? Or did you let the person go? And shouldn't it be "chose"?
46. I'm jus an emotional shit.
Shit ain't got no feelings.
47. Sob I seldom online le..sob......laptop gt problem ><
That's probably because you're sobbing on your laptop. Electricity doesn't work well with water.
48. I know I don't live alone now, cause I've got you.
But what happens if "you" goes away?
49. It's just that it's delicate ; -It keeps leaving me needing you.
What's delicate? What keeps leaving you needing who? The hell?
50. Is hopeless.
Keep thinking like this and you really will be.
-End-
Again, Donovan would like to stress that whatever said here was said in jest.
The nicknames people come up with on MSN are either nonsensical, extremely emotional, deep, or just downright self-derogative. Either way, a quote is a quote is a quote.
Cheerio.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Throw a bunch of lovable Disney cartoons together and a few Final Fantasy junkees, and you get a classic worth hours. No longer will girls squirm at the thought of a guy playing 'yet-another-role-playing-game' on godsend Playstation 2, they will join the guys in a neverending battle against cute Disney villians!
(Thing is, there's no co-op in the game. Damn it!)
Yeah, most of you should know what it is.
Kingdom Hearts!
Finally, a game that even non-gamers will pick up and try due to curiosity.
- - - - -
Q & A!
1. "But isn't it gay?"
No, asshole. It isn't.
2. "But there's Goofy and Donald and all their gay friends in there! Even Sora is gay!"
Sora's just pretty. (He is.) 'Sides, gay characters don't neccessarily make the game 'gay'. A-hyuk a-hyuk.
3. "But, but... the storyline! The game just makes up for the weak plot with appearances from our favourite Disney characters!"
Pinnochio's one of your favourite characters? *cofffagcoff*
4. "What about the lack of common sense that Sora has, sometimes?"
Sheesh, it's from Squenix. When do their games make sense? We're talking about the same minds that thought of time-travelling and alternate dimensions that resurface under other alternate dimensions! Live with it.
5. "But.. What about-"
Oh, stfu. You're giving me a headache.
-End Q & A-
- - - - -
Imaginary questioning fella has a point, though.
The game has just about as much common sense as a peanut.
Spoiler:-
Sora can jump.
Sora can super-jump.
Sora can glide.
Sora can super-glide.
Sora can kill Ceberus.
Sora can fend off hundreds, if not thousands of Heartless(es).
Just to save his friends. Especially Kairi.
Yet he can't fuckin' walk two bloody metres to reach Kairi when he finally meets up with her again. He could very well jump across, or even walk. But no, he had to reach his hand out for Kairi while standing approx. two fuckin' metres from her. Where's the common sense in him?!
Oh, another senseless one is Sora defeating Ceberus, the three-headed canine guardian of the gates to the Underworld. Ceberus is three times taller and hella-lot bigger than Sora. Sora has Donald and Goofy aiding him. Woop-tee-doo.
At least Kingdom Hearts has a redeeming factor of nonsense- The Gummi Ship. Oh, shweet, shweet modifiable Gummi Ship.
No idea what Donovan is talking about? Go get your copy of Kingdom Hearts...
NOW!
-News Flash!-
The english version of Kingdom Hearts 2 is due for launch in a few days!
Ohnoes!
Sneak-peek...
(Scenario may or may not have happened in-game)
Sora: Hey.
Roxas: Hey.
Sora: I'm Sora, and you are?
Roxas: Roxas. I'm you.
Sora: Nice to... Wha?
Roxas: Yeah. I'm you.
Sora: Righttt.
Roxas: It's true! I have half (of) your heart.
Sora: But, no. No!
Roxas: Well, it's true.
Sora: But...
Roxas: Face it, I have half your heart.
Sora: What about the other half?
Roxas: Beats me. What about Kairi? She's hot now.
Sora: Well, not too sure. Our paths are intertwined due to some mofo-shizzle back in KH1.
Roxas: Yeah. So I presume she has the other half of your heart?
Sora: I suppose. I kinda...
Roxas: Yes, yes, casanova. We know about your unspoken feelings for her.
Sora: Howja know?
Roxas: I'm you, remember?
Sora: Oh yeah. Howja get my heart anyway?
Roxas: Long story. Mmhm. Looks like you've grown, too.
Sora: Yeah, I have. Funny how my face hasn't changed after all this time, though.
Roxas: I know. It must be the effects of not having a heart...
Sora: Huh? But I do-
Roxas: Kairi and I have half your heart, each.
Sora: Doesn't that mean that I'm heartless?
Roxas:Oh yeah. You're a Heartless, alright.
-fizzle fizzle-
Whimzical Donovan, out.
